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Bog Standard

Restroom comedy has always been the comfort zone for daily publications, and publications remain attentive of notable bog-related stories and milestones, notably connected to soccer. It was quite amusing to learn that a prominent writer a well-known presenter owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet within his residence. Reflect for a moment for the Barnsley fan who took the rest room a little too literally, and was rescued from the vacant Barnsley ground following dozing off in the toilet during halftime of a 2015 loss against Fleetwood Town. “His footwear was missing and misplaced his cellphone and his cap,” stated a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And everyone remembers when, at the height of his fame at Manchester City, the controversial forward entered a community college to access the restrooms in 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, then entered and inquired where the toilets were, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” an undergraduate shared with a Manchester newspaper. “Later he simply strolled round the campus acting like the owner.”

The Lavatory Departure

Tuesday marks 25 years since Kevin Keegan stepped down from the England national team post a quick discussion inside a lavatory booth alongside FA executive David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback against Germany in 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the famous old stadium. As Davies remembers in his diary, FA Confidential, he had entered the sodden beleaguered England dressing room right after the game, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams motivated, both players begging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. After Dietmar Hamann's set-piece, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a blank expression, and Davies located him seated – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the dressing room corner, whispering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies worked frantically to salvage the situation.

“Where could we possibly locate for a private conversation?” remembered Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The bathing section? I couldn't conduct an important discussion with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Merely one possibility emerged. The lavatory booths. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history occurred in the ancient loos of a stadium facing demolition. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I shut the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I can’t motivate the players. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Consequences

Consequently, Keegan quit, later admitting that he had found his tenure as national coach “soulless”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I struggled to occupy my time. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It's a tremendously tough role.” English football has come a long way during the last 25 years. For better or worse, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers have long disappeared, while a German now sits in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Real-Time Coverage

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Today's Statement

“We stood there in a lengthy line, in just our underwear. We represented Europe's top officials, top sportspeople, examples, adults, parents, strong personalities with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We barely looked at each other, our gazes flickered a bit nervously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina examined us thoroughly with a freezing stare. Quiet and watchful” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes match officials were formerly exposed to by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What’s in a name? There exists a Dr Seuss poem titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to manage the main squad. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles.

“Since you've opened the budget and provided some branded items, I have decided to put finger to keypad and offer a concise remark. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts in the school playground with kids he expected would overpower him. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his decision to join Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|